The Ballad Of Whatever

Ishi started a Twitter account just to catalog all the things her husband Rafael wasn’t doing around the house at any given moment.

It wasn’t the most passive-aggressive thing to ever happen on the internet, but on the other hand, there are websites devoted solely to tracking the new and inventive ways we exercise our passive-aggressiveness on the internet, so even if it was just another drop in the ocean, it was a drop with decent ripples. Soon Ishi had over 2000 followers on tweets such as “Asleep (or dead?) on the couch, but not mowing the lawn,” and “Still in the bathroom. House falling down around us.”

Before long the MSM picked up the story and Ishi had to schedule time in between interviews just to leave room for Twittering.

What eventually clued Rafael in to the situation was the fact that his suddenly busy wife wasn’t verbally hassling him so often about getting things done around the house.

“This is a self-fulfilling prophecy,” Rafael said, to no one. “If Ishi isn’t reminding me about what needs fixing, then more and more stuff won’t get done, and she’ll have more and more things to write about me not doing. I mean this is a terrible situation.”

So Rafael began a photoset in Flickr called “Places My Wife Won’t Have Sex With Me.” A photo of a couch, titled “On the couch.” A photo of the kitchen floor, titled “On the kitchen floor.” A photo of a bed, titled “Our bed.” The photographs themselves were unremarkable, but by adding many tags and submitting the photos to hundreds of Flickr groups, there were soon thousands of people viewing, favoriting, and commenting on his photos, and enouraging him to take more pictures and add them to other groups, which he did.

The end.