How To Take Over A City

You decide to take over a neighboring city. You prepare your army by giving them a pep talk. You arrange them in a formation, make sure everyone has their weapons, and march them up the hill.

There is a high stone wall along the top of the hill. You break through this wall. Your army scampers like mice over the crumbled stones on one side, and falls through like rain on the other.

As you pass through the wall and begin to descend the hill, you see the opposing city laid out in the valley before you. It looks strangely empty. Most of the people have left. They have decided not to fight you for the city. Only a few people remain, walking the littered streets. The city is really a mess. You will have to get brooms for everyone. This is going to take a lot of sweeping.

Then there is the matter of the new castle. It is smaller than your current castle, but it has a garden labyrinth and a ballroom, two things you’ve always wished your castle had. So this will make a nice summer castle for you. But it too is very messy. It too must be swept out. Also the sinks are dirty and there is a broken window in one of the bedrooms. You put your best men on the job right away. You pitch in, raking leaves out of the labyrinth, until you find a human skeleton and decide not to go in any farther.

Just as you have put the finishing touches on the castle and are getting ready to lock the door and go back home, you notice that the refrigerator is leaking. Really bad. Water is practically pouring out of it. You yell out the front door for your army to halt, and motion for everyone to come back inside.